The Abyss

by Andy Zuk

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released September 19, 2015

All words and music by Andy Zuk

Thanks to John Rose and Kenny Harkis for ears, encouragement and taste, and to Morag Zuk for photography and artwork.

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Track Name: One of Those Things
It was never going to happen the way I planned it

With my fucked up sense of abandonment

And it was never going to get you the way I planned it

It was more aggressive than I had meant



And I’ve been starting to realise lately

Don’t climb you’ve got to crawl

And live with nothing if you want to take it all



Something in you wakes the animal in me

And when it’s awake I just can’t sleep

Is something getting in the way?

When I stop looking then I will see

It’s never going to happen the way I planned it

And it’s one of those things that is never going to be



If I want something I get it, I just go and take it,

With my deep seated sense of entitlement

My desires are sick, only you can sate ‘em

You’re my satan from heaven sent



And I’ve been coming to thinking lately

No point in praying they want you to crawl

No point in flying cos you’re going to take that fall
Track Name: Trying and Failing
It’s taken 20 years to get my teeth around it,

I’m never going to let this go

I’m a snidey little bitch and the more I give you

The less you’re going to take back home



You’ll know when it starts to spiral and it all starts to slip

You’ll wish that you had aimed for so-so, and just missed

Whether you’re climbing up a mountain or gone straight off a cliff

You’re one step further from forever but it’s all just relative



This hungry dog’s an angry dog and you can’t stand it,

You feed it but it just won’t stop

You try and throw a punch but then you just can’t land it

You’re never coming out on top



I get to the joke before you but what did you expect?

You transmit all your thoughts around you and then I just reflect

I stop the ball from rolling and I garble your speech

And I talk in confusing syntax keep that prize out of reach



I keep trying and then failing ‘til it comes to a head

I run the race I’m trailing ‘til the lights turn to red

I’m climbing up that ladder but I’m losing my way

I’m fading away, I’m fading away into you



I stalk deserted corridors just like a hydra

That’s going to grow another head

I close the valves and watch the pressure build inside you

You’ll buckle underneath that dread



Been given life outside your nightmares now I’m coming for you

I move the pieces on the chessboard and you’re not getting through

I dilute your solution and I weaken your brew

There’s nothing left for you to hang on for or try to cling to
Track Name: Auto Reply
I’m superficial if you want to know the truth

I’m so sarcastic when I’m trying to get to you

A better chief than you have ever been an indian

I’d eat you with a fork and spoon and only spit you out again



There’s nothing I can tell you that you don’t already think that you know

A life without the frontiers and relief without the tears

But I’m building nothing, eternal hope springs



I’m inches wide of the target,

I’m microns off of the mark,

I’m drowning in your confusion



You say I am long-winded and I guess that much is true,

I know that nought and one and nought and nought and one is two

My resolve’s unflinching I never turn around

I drown out all your talking with this detuned and buzzing sound

But you already know



I bring the hammer to your nail,

You know, that certain something

While you’re drowning in the detail and your mind’s imploding



I’m bailing out of your jump jet

We’re not even nearly there yet

I’m never coming back to you
Track Name: The Abyss
I’ve built this existence but something is calling me home

To the muck stack and coking plant

Fights in the pubs when they close



But the mist starts to gather up that incline on Wakefield Road

And the photos in the time capsule

Start to grow sepia toned



A place in my memory

There’s not that much left to see

Now it recedes



Dust gathers over Athersley, rests and it settles like stone

Archaeologists brush off the dirt

From my childhood home



And the Pit Fields turn back into swamp and across them I float

I orbit this epoch

But flesh has long since turned to bone



The Cherwell breaks its banks and swallows this whole city down

An Atlantis for the late nineties

Nothing and no one were found



But the bath left in Gatehouse and the threadbare ceremonial gowns

Hieroglyphics and symbols are amplified deafeningly loud



We resisted unstoppable progress but lost in the end

Now Camden’s a folly

That speaks of that futile intent



Onlookers stand baffled ‘cos they can’t understand what it meant

Like Pompeii’s volcano coughing dust through an old smoking vent



These memories will fade and slip down the abyss

Coins tossed down the well for a transient wish

And float to the surface embellished but partly erased



I’ll put them in aggregate start to make sense

Of my deepest regrets through my wise and old lens

And store them in triplicate

Safe ‘til the end of my days

All my days are slipping away
Track Name: A Lonely War
I speak loud in a shrieking tone

And my thoughts are not my own

And I just wonder why



My friends are all skin and bone

Ringing empty telephones

And I just wonder why



There’s a gaping hole inside me

I could turn this day to night

When you pull me left, I push right

And all you’re going to get from me

Is a first refusal

It’s a lonely war

But it’s one I’ll always fight



I cry through my maniacal grin

My walls stand but I’m caving in

And you just wonder why



You might twist but you’ll never fit

Your fists swing but you’ll never hit

And you just wonder why





It’s a lonely war so I start the attrition

I had a long walk back from my crucifixion

And I man the gates

And sit and pontificate

About the right and the wrong way

And where you should all stay

Back in the good old days

Where there’s not so much colour

As just shades of grey

And it’s my own fault

That I let them slip away

Slip the wrong way down

The tunnels that you dig

Will never lead you to nowhere

I spot the difference

Contrast/compare

None of you can phase me

Confuse me or daze me

I’m on the home front

Where I like to fight my battles

Where my voice can shriek

And my bones can rattle

When I think my thoughts

Nobody is safe.
Track Name: A Sunday in January
Like a Sunday in January

I turn the screw

Put the voltage on your filament

And blow out your fuse



I’m predictable and cynical

I’m a danger to know

I’m that sly cigarette

That’ll burn down your home



And I’m doing all of this just because I can



So I fortify the battlements

Many versus the few

And I make myself separate

With my mind as my tool



And I circumvent the obvious

And the fait accompli

And I’m moving so fast

I look stationary



Do you get that sinking feeling?

What you’ve lost I’ve found

The sound of my rain that’s pounding

On your saturated ground



I’m dragging you down



Glory ceases to be fleeting

I’m a sight to behold

When I float above your chaos

And just watch it unfold



And I’m drifting under oceans

To emerge from the sea

Because I know you’ll be waiting

Waiting for me



Do you get that sinking feeling?

Third time and you’ll drown

The sound of my tide encroaching

The ocean approaching the ground
Track Name: Destined For Greatness
I was destined for greatness

And meant to escape this

But look how these things have turned out



It’s a strange way of saying that

It’s all been forgiven but

You’ve won so just stand yourself down



I take to the road and you stay on my back

When I’m at my weakest you know to attack

And you’re needles in haystacks

At night time I’ve seen you turn black



I accept that I have days

When I astound and I amaze but

I guess I want more than my share



I know the streets that I’m walking are

Made of gold paving but

Before I can win I must dare



When I’m wasted and under your spell

Voice cracking like glass

Singing songs like alarm bells



Droning out a rhapsody to drown out all your doubt

Now I’ve been waiting too long

I need something to pin my hopes back on