1. |
One of Those Things
02:35
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It was never going to happen the way I planned it
With my fucked up sense of abandonment
And it was never going to get you the way I planned it
It was more aggressive than I had meant
And I’ve been starting to realise lately
Don’t climb you’ve got to crawl
And live with nothing if you want to take it all
Something in you wakes the animal in me
And when it’s awake I just can’t sleep
Is something getting in the way?
When I stop looking then I will see
It’s never going to happen the way I planned it
And it’s one of those things that is never going to be
If I want something I get it, I just go and take it,
With my deep seated sense of entitlement
My desires are sick, only you can sate ‘em
You’re my satan from heaven sent
And I’ve been coming to thinking lately
No point in praying they want you to crawl
No point in flying cos you’re going to take that fall
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2. |
Trying and Failing
05:35
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It’s taken 20 years to get my teeth around it,
I’m never going to let this go
I’m a snidey little bitch and the more I give you
The less you’re going to take back home
You’ll know when it starts to spiral and it all starts to slip
You’ll wish that you had aimed for so-so, and just missed
Whether you’re climbing up a mountain or gone straight off a cliff
You’re one step further from forever but it’s all just relative
This hungry dog’s an angry dog and you can’t stand it,
You feed it but it just won’t stop
You try and throw a punch but then you just can’t land it
You’re never coming out on top
I get to the joke before you but what did you expect?
You transmit all your thoughts around you and then I just reflect
I stop the ball from rolling and I garble your speech
And I talk in confusing syntax keep that prize out of reach
I keep trying and then failing ‘til it comes to a head
I run the race I’m trailing ‘til the lights turn to red
I’m climbing up that ladder but I’m losing my way
I’m fading away, I’m fading away into you
I stalk deserted corridors just like a hydra
That’s going to grow another head
I close the valves and watch the pressure build inside you
You’ll buckle underneath that dread
Been given life outside your nightmares now I’m coming for you
I move the pieces on the chessboard and you’re not getting through
I dilute your solution and I weaken your brew
There’s nothing left for you to hang on for or try to cling to
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3. |
Auto Reply
03:07
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I’m superficial if you want to know the truth
I’m so sarcastic when I’m trying to get to you
A better chief than you have ever been an indian
I’d eat you with a fork and spoon and only spit you out again
There’s nothing I can tell you that you don’t already think that you know
A life without the frontiers and relief without the tears
But I’m building nothing, eternal hope springs
I’m inches wide of the target,
I’m microns off of the mark,
I’m drowning in your confusion
You say I am long-winded and I guess that much is true,
I know that nought and one and nought and nought and one is two
My resolve’s unflinching I never turn around
I drown out all your talking with this detuned and buzzing sound
But you already know
I bring the hammer to your nail,
You know, that certain something
While you’re drowning in the detail and your mind’s imploding
I’m bailing out of your jump jet
We’re not even nearly there yet
I’m never coming back to you
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4. |
The Abyss
04:49
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I’ve built this existence but something is calling me home
To the muck stack and coking plant
Fights in the pubs when they close
But the mist starts to gather up that incline on Wakefield Road
And the photos in the time capsule
Start to grow sepia toned
A place in my memory
There’s not that much left to see
Now it recedes
Dust gathers over Athersley, rests and it settles like stone
Archaeologists brush off the dirt
From my childhood home
And the Pit Fields turn back into swamp and across them I float
I orbit this epoch
But flesh has long since turned to bone
The Cherwell breaks its banks and swallows this whole city down
An Atlantis for the late nineties
Nothing and no one were found
But the bath left in Gatehouse and the threadbare ceremonial gowns
Hieroglyphics and symbols are amplified deafeningly loud
We resisted unstoppable progress but lost in the end
Now Camden’s a folly
That speaks of that futile intent
Onlookers stand baffled ‘cos they can’t understand what it meant
Like Pompeii’s volcano coughing dust through an old smoking vent
These memories will fade and slip down the abyss
Coins tossed down the well for a transient wish
And float to the surface embellished but partly erased
I’ll put them in aggregate start to make sense
Of my deepest regrets through my wise and old lens
And store them in triplicate
Safe ‘til the end of my days
All my days are slipping away
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5. |
A Lonely War
04:53
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I speak loud in a shrieking tone
And my thoughts are not my own
And I just wonder why
My friends are all skin and bone
Ringing empty telephones
And I just wonder why
There’s a gaping hole inside me
I could turn this day to night
When you pull me left, I push right
And all you’re going to get from me
Is a first refusal
It’s a lonely war
But it’s one I’ll always fight
I cry through my maniacal grin
My walls stand but I’m caving in
And you just wonder why
You might twist but you’ll never fit
Your fists swing but you’ll never hit
And you just wonder why
It’s a lonely war so I start the attrition
I had a long walk back from my crucifixion
And I man the gates
And sit and pontificate
About the right and the wrong way
And where you should all stay
Back in the good old days
Where there’s not so much colour
As just shades of grey
And it’s my own fault
That I let them slip away
Slip the wrong way down
The tunnels that you dig
Will never lead you to nowhere
I spot the difference
Contrast/compare
None of you can phase me
Confuse me or daze me
I’m on the home front
Where I like to fight my battles
Where my voice can shriek
And my bones can rattle
When I think my thoughts
Nobody is safe.
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6. |
A Sunday in January
04:51
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Like a Sunday in January
I turn the screw
Put the voltage on your filament
And blow out your fuse
I’m predictable and cynical
I’m a danger to know
I’m that sly cigarette
That’ll burn down your home
And I’m doing all of this just because I can
So I fortify the battlements
Many versus the few
And I make myself separate
With my mind as my tool
And I circumvent the obvious
And the fait accompli
And I’m moving so fast
I look stationary
Do you get that sinking feeling?
What you’ve lost I’ve found
The sound of my rain that’s pounding
On your saturated ground
I’m dragging you down
Glory ceases to be fleeting
I’m a sight to behold
When I float above your chaos
And just watch it unfold
And I’m drifting under oceans
To emerge from the sea
Because I know you’ll be waiting
Waiting for me
Do you get that sinking feeling?
Third time and you’ll drown
The sound of my tide encroaching
The ocean approaching the ground
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7. |
Destined For Greatness
06:09
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I was destined for greatness
And meant to escape this
But look how these things have turned out
It’s a strange way of saying that
It’s all been forgiven but
You’ve won so just stand yourself down
I take to the road and you stay on my back
When I’m at my weakest you know to attack
And you’re needles in haystacks
At night time I’ve seen you turn black
I accept that I have days
When I astound and I amaze but
I guess I want more than my share
I know the streets that I’m walking are
Made of gold paving but
Before I can win I must dare
When I’m wasted and under your spell
Voice cracking like glass
Singing songs like alarm bells
Droning out a rhapsody to drown out all your doubt
Now I’ve been waiting too long
I need something to pin my hopes back on
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Andy Zuk England, UK
Andy is a multi instrumentalist singer/songwriter and producer living in the south of England.
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